Bringing Up Baby
by signature
Summary: Future-fic/AU. Dan and Blair in Connecticut. With a leopard.


**PLEASE READ - Note:** Okay, so I _never_ do these, but after seeing a small spammage of Dair/Bringing Up Baby references on tumblr - I couldn't get this out of my head. Our presh screwball romance bbs. Oh, what could have been! Future-fic/AU from mid-Season 4 (though I suppose Season 5 works too, but I just like to pretend that the whole Prince/Wedding arc never happened).

Yeah, so the story pretty much follows _Bringing Up Baby_ to the T, pretty much ALL of the dialogue is taken from it (and I mean from both the film and the story). Guh, they are just so perfect for each other. Also, I don't have the greatest patience for movie remakes, but I am SO onboard for a _Bringing Up Baby_ remake with Penn and Leighton as David and Susan. As if it would ever happen, but... squee!

Also, oblig, but I don't own anything.

* * *

Dan was surprised when Blair's name appeared on his caller ID. They had a particularly draining fight the night before and, aside from being _banished back to Brooklyn_, it was usually Blair's custom to punish him by making him call first, thereby placing him at a disadvantage.

Dan let out a breath and stared down at the screen. _She definitely wants something_. For a brief moment he considered letting it go to voicemail, put her through the ringer for once. But Blair was, well, _Blair_, and she would only call the one time and she'd know that he'd be sulking in his loft brooding over how many days it'd take for him to end up giving in and calling her back. If he didn't pick up now, she'd eventually make her way over and barge through the loft doors and see exactly how pathetic he was.

He shook his head. No, the thing to do was to take the call and make her feel like she was the pathetic one to be the first to give in this time.

"Waldorf." Consciously, in brighter moments she was Blair. But not now.

Blair's voice was vague and far away, as though she were applying mascara at her vanity, which she probably was.

"Uh - do I want a _what_?" Dan straightened from his perch at the counter where he was sitting in front of his laptop and instinctively began a short pace across the room. "Am I on speaker phone? I can't hear you very well. I thought I heard you say _leopard_."

Her voice then came in clear, crisp and resounding, even scratching a little through his speaker, "I said - do you want a leopard?"

"No," Dan blinked. "Why should I?"

"Well, for that matter," he heard her sniff through the phone, "why should _I_? But I've got one."

"Where would you get a leopard?"

"Humphrey, _I_ wouldn't get a leopard. It was Aaron Rose," she tutted. Then sighed, "Apparently, he was hunting in Brazil and caught him -"

Blair's step-brother had been away for about three months, he couldn't remember exactly where but he vaguely recalled Cyrus mentioning a safari somewhere below the equator. An important point presented itself to Dan. "Wait - like a stuffed animal, Blair? What do you mean?"

"_No_, Cabbage Patch. Why would Aaron send me a stuffed leopard from Brazil if I could just get one of those in New York? Anyway - he barely just fits into the bathroom. My mother is coming back from Paris and I have to farm the beast out somewhere, I was thinking at the Connecticut house, but -"

"Blair," Dan paused mid-stride in the middle of his living room and rubbed the top of his head with his free hand. He couldn't decipher what she was up to, the words they exchanged last night were still swimming around in the back of his mind. He felt a headache coming on. Sometimes he still couldn't believe she was real. "What do you expect me to say right now?" He hoped it didn't sound as exasperated as he felt.

"I want you to come right over," she responded without a beat. Her voice didn't waver the tiniest bit.

"Blair, last night -"

"_Humphrey_, don't be irrelevant right now. The point is: I have a leopard. And the question is: what am I going to do with it?"

Dan felt is jaw tense. Fine, if she wanted it to be this way, "Well then, Waldorf, I regret to inform you that the leopard is _your _problem."

There was a pause on her end and Dan briefly wondered if she would drop the ridiculous story, but then - "Dan, you can't leave me alone with a leopard!" He could hear her shuffling around her bedroom, "If your'e not coming here, than I will just have to come get you and we'll -"

He heard her yelp as a crash came through the line.

"Blair? What happened? Are you okay?"

"No, Dan, I -"

There was a pause. Then - another crash and another small scream.

"Blair!"

Safe to say, Dan nearly tripped over his own feet as he rushed out the door.

* * *

Dorota was standing in the foyer when Dan rushed out of the elevator, breathless. He nearly drove himself crazy on the cab ride over when neither Blair nor Dorota had answered his frantic calls.

He rushed up to the maid and when she spotted him she nearly screamed, manic, "I am not putting any wild beast in any bathroom! If Miss Blair wants it in the bathroom, then she can put it in the bathroom and I wish her good luck."

Yeah, that didn't calm him down in the slightest. Neither did the giant wooden crate he spied in the living room.

At this point, they heard Blair's voice call out from upstairs, "You can come back up now, Dorota. I've stowed him away," her head, a bit disheveled, popped out over the stair case at them, "Oh, hello, Humphrey."

Dan rushed up the stairs to her, taking in her form in a slight disarray. "Blair, what is going on? I thought you were - You're alright." He paused, his hands coming up to stroke her face. She met his eyes with a small smile. Vulnerable, too. Yeah, she was alright. Beautiful. And she had him wrapped around her little finger.

He let out a breath and stepped back, pulling his hands away. "Blair, I thought you were hurt or _something_. Were you lying to me? You _can't_ just -"

"I can't _what?_" She crossed her arms, doe-eyes staring up into his. Challenging.

Impossible.

A beat, then her eyes moved away, to the floor. Dan sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Did you really lure me back here with some ridiculous story about a leopard -"

"It's not a ridiculous story -"

"Then where is it?"

She was looking at him again, her bottom lip between her teeth. Red, today. Plump, enticing. Dan had to look away.

"It's in my bathroom. Go see for your self," with that she turned around, her skirt flowing, as she sashayed away from him and up the rest of the stairs, expecting him to follow her. And of course, he followed.

"Blair, if this is just some kind of crazy, hair-brained scheme, I swear I am not going to fall for -"

She led him through her room and opened the en suite. And, well. There he was, spotted and rolling on the bathroom mat, peering up at them with his shiny blue eyes. Which were behind very large teeth. Suddenly, Dan's hands were a bit clammy and perspiration was starting around his hairline. He bolted up in front of Blair, placing his body in-between her and the bathroom, rushing to pull the door back closed.

"That's a _leopard_."

"I _know_." She rolled her eyes and then gave him a small smirk, "Don't you worry. He's harmless as a house cat. That will teach you though, saying those things about me now."

"Blair! We have to get out here."

"What? Why?"

"I mean, we have to get that _thing_ out of here. Hold on, I'm going to call the police, or animal control, or -"

Blair grabbed his hands, "No, Humphrey. Aaron says to keep him for now, so that's what we're going to do."

"_We're_?"

"Well, I'm certainly not going to be dragging Serena or Nate into this situation. They're heads would practically _explode_. Look," producing a few documents from a pile of mail on her desk, Blair waved them at him and then proceeded to read, prefacing the letter by saying, "From Aaron. From Brazil."

_"Blair,_

_I'm sending you Baby_ (She paused to insert, "that's his name, Humphrey")_, a leopard I picked up. He's three years old, gentle as a kitten, and he likes dogs."_

She paused again, frowned a little. Her brow furrowed, "I don't know whether Aaron means he eats dogs or if he gets along with them," she said. "A little vague, if I say so myself." She continued:

_"He also likes music, particularly that song I Can't Give You Anything But Love, Baby. _(Really, Aaron?)_ It may be because his name is in the lyrics, but, anyway. Try playing him songs with the word baby in them. Guard him with your life. I am leaving Brazil next week. Don't feed Baby potatoes. He gets sick as a dog."_

Dan, who had been sitting at the edge of Blair's bed, let out a loud breath as he fell backwards. "I wish he'd get sick as a leopard and die."

"_Dan_!" Blair admonished, "Don't interrupt. There's a post-script! 'Aunt Elizabeth's changed her will in our favor again. Give her and Eleanor my love when they arrive.'"

Dan peered up at her, rising onto his elbows. "You have an Aunt Elizabeth?"

"_Great_ aunt. Cyrus' aunt's sister… or whatever." She put the letter down at her desk and stared at it angrily. "When they arrive!" She let out a sound of frustration as she ambled her way to him and let herself fall unceremoniously onto his chest.

"_Oof_. I don't follow you," his fingers, of their own volition, rose to run through her brown locks.

Blair's voice was slightly muffled into his chest, "Aaron's probably known for weeks that she was coming! But I didn't. My mother didn't bother to warn me at all. But apparently, it seems like, she will be arriving with my mother tomorrow - _tomorrow_! And since we are supposed to be meeting my mother and Cyrus at their new estate in Connecticut…"

She trailed off and Dan waited for her to continue. He looked down at her, tucking his chin in. She was biting her lip again.

"You didn't tell her that you're engaged?" his voice was quiet - raw. Last night coming back to the forefront of his thoughts.

"It's not as if I talk to her everyday! I barely think about," she paused, her nose scrunched up in slight annoyance, "_that side_ of my extended family. Regardless of her wealth, she is the most disorganized, unstylish -"

She let out an indiscernible noise that Dan would not - _would not_ - admit was endearing and briefly buried her nose into his chest completely before sitting up. One small, perfect hand rested over his heart as she looked straight at him. "My mother, Cyrus, and especially my great Aunt Elizabeth can_not_ know that we have Baby."

Dan had one hand wrapped around her delicate wrist at his chest, stroking it slightly, as he smirked. He could feel the cool metal of her ring through his shirt. "But can Baby know that we have Aunt Elizabeth and your parents?"

"Don't be cute, Cabbage Patch. We'll take him up to Connecticut - I had Dorota pick up rental with tinted windows for us. The stable is still empty at the estate. We'll tie him in there and sneak food out to him during the night."

"You mean _I'll_ sneak food out to him during the night," Dan corrected her with a slight frown.

"Well, what do you think of it?"

"I think this is a terrible idea," Dan said, the back of his free hand resting over his eyes, "but I don't suppose that makes any difference."

"Mother would probably _disown_ me if I ever upset great Aunt Elizabeth. How would you like me not to have any money if I ever decide to marry you?"

"You mean, disregarding your current net worth (and _mine_, as well, as a matter of fact)?"

"Exactly," she sniffed.

Dan let out a laugh. Looked up at her gleaming eyes. She can't be real. "Because I certainly can't afford to keep you," his voice droll.

"Precisely. So you help me or I won't marry you." She stuck her tongue out at him before leaning down for a kiss.

"You broke our engagement last night, Blair." Dan reminded as her mouth hovered for his, resisting the urge to add _again_.

"Oh, that," Blair breathed out airily before their lips met.

* * *

Hauling a leopard one hundred miles in a rented SUV without bars to separate the said leopard seemed to be something of a turning point in Dan's life. He marveled at Blair, who seemed perfectly calm and unaware of the fact that chance can play such an important part in the manner of death. Either by drowning or even, through no fault of his own, by having a leopard easily take a disliking to him.

He was still in awe of her the following afternoon, sitting with her in the living room of the Connecticut house. Blair was staring thoughtfully at the flower arrangement in the center of the coffee table as though she hadn't just pushed Baby into a deserted stable just a stone's throw away from the house in which they sat. She had secured Baby with what she optimistically called a sailor's knot (though Dan could beg to differ) and called it a day as Dan stood there in disbelief.

She still looked like his bon-mot-tossing, exceptionally pretty girlfriend (fiancee? she _was_ still wearing the ring), wearing a very appealing printed strapless dress as they awaited a great aunt who, twenty-four hours ago, Dan had no knowledge of. He was so side-tracked by her very perfect - and bare - shoulders, he almost missed the way her smile seemed pinched and held too tightly on her face.

He lightly touched one of the aforementioned perfect shoulders until she shifted her gaze to him. Her face relaxed a little when she saw his small smile and he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to her temple.

"Dan," she started in a small voice - the voice that he liked to dub her 'kitten voice' in private. "The other night, you know that -"

"Darling!" Eleanor bustled in, personal maids and chauffeurs behind her bringing in luggage and generally initiating a great hurricane as they blew in. "When did you get in? You two haven't been waiting here long have you?"

Blair immediately stood up and rushed over to kiss Eleanor on her cheek before moving to greet Cyrus who bumbled in after the help. Whatever Blair was going to reveal him would have to wait. Dan sighed and stood up to greet the newcomers. Aunt Elizabeth turned out to be the biggest woman Dan ever met outside of a circus tent and was accompanied by a small fox terrier named George.

When Blair had politely smiled and said, "I'm glad to see you again, Aunt Elizabeth," the older woman clicked her tongue and replied, "I thought you were a more accomplished liar." Then she had looked at Dan, "Is this the man you are going to marry?" before going on to imply that if Blair had been a better catch, perhaps she would have had better luck. Dan's jaw locked as he bit his tongue so hard, he thought he might spit out blood.

Another awkward moment came up when Eleanor came face to face with Baby's rations that Dan had unthinkingly stored in the refrigerator earlier.

"What," Eleanor stated more than asked, "is that?" as she gestured toward the open refrigerator door to, what could be most elegantly described as, a large chunk of meat.

"Meat," Dan stammered.

"For what?" said Aunt Elizabeth, her head peeking over Eleanor's shoulder.

"For George!" Blair jumped in. Eleanor and the aunt turned to look at the younger woman blankly.

"George doesn't eat muck like that," Aunt Elizabeth said with disdain, "throw it away."

* * *

The day wore on. It wore on everybody. Eleanor had given up early on Aunt Elizabeth's persistent and adamant insistence to inspect every little aspect of the estate with a yapping George at her heels. And when everyone retired at eleven o'clock _finally_, Blair and Dan snuck out quietly through the back door to rummage for Baby's supper.

"Got it!" Dan cheered raucously when he found the wrapped meat amidst the remnants of their supper.

Baby was pathetically happy to see them when they opened the stable door. Not only had he probably been feeling the call of the wild of his inner beast, but he had been lonely. He rolled over on his back and Blair bent down to scratch his stomach.

"Cute," she giggled as she looked over her shoulder for a moment to glance up at Dan.

"Very cute," he observed her with a tender look from his spot a safe distance away.

Suddenly, Blair stood up, listened for a moment before running up to Dan and clutching his arm, hissing, "What is that?"

Baby had pricked his ears up and abandoned his food momentarily. What they heard was a sniffing noise. A sniffing that got progressively louder until it finally stood in the door way. It was George.

Dan heard Blair's squeak beside him and fought the urge to wrap his arms around her. God, he was turning into such a sap. Well, even more so if he was being honest.

"Grab him," she whispered.

"You grab him," Dan whispered back, though he already started advancing slowly on the terrier. "You know him better."

"That's why I won't grab him," she replied, lightly bouncing on her feet, agitated.

"Nice George," Dan appeased as he got closer to the small dog. George growled.

Of course.

Blair was panting as they ran toward the house with little George in Dan's arms. "He must like you," she remarked between breaths, "He hasn't growled at all since you picked him up."

"He can't," Dan said bitterly, "His mouth is full of my hand."

Blair let out a small, cooing "_Ooh_," before persuading George to relinquish Dan's hand and then shutting the dog in with them in their bedroom.

* * *

A great uproar started the following morning at the devastating hour of six o'clock and made its way down the corridor of the house. It turned out to be great Aunt Elizabeth rousing the household in her search for little George.

She filled their doorway and said, "What's George doing under your bed?"

Blair sat up as Dan stirred sleepily behind her (and thankfully out of the aunt's accusatory eyes), "Growling the first half of the night and snoring the last."

"Well, get up. And Dan, too. Breakfast will be ready in a couple of hours."

Dan groaned into his pillow.

* * *

Dan observed Blair's new found devotion to George that day with no little amusement. Blair had taken the little dog into the kitchen and gave him his breakfast with her own hands and stood guard as he ate it. Each time he went outside, Blair was at his heels. Whenever George made a movement towards the general direction of the stables, Blair carried him back in the other direction, much to the dog's chagrin.

After finally maneuvering him back into the house, she sank in exhaustion upon the chaise in the den, her eyes glued to the dog in determination. George had stretched out on the floor and was napping peacefully, his snores mounting in volume as he fell further and further away from the waking world. It seemed to have the same effect on the brunette heiress.

At around three o'clock, Dan came in and found her fast asleep, her arms tucked underneath her head as she faced the sleeping dog on the floor in front of the window. He placed a soft kiss on the bridge of her nose before letting them be.

A couple of hours later, Blair eyes blinked open slowly before she suddenly startled up from her position like a frightened doe. George was gone. She started a systematic search of the house, Eleanor and Cyrus were shopping online for a new art buyer to help decorate the bare walls and couldn't be bothered, before ending up in the sunroom where she found Dan playing cards with Aunt Elizabeth.

She gestured wildly behind her aunt's back, making a pretense of what she thought was obviously a dog and pointing in the direction of the stables. Dan stared at her.

Blair sighed, "George is such a nice dog, Aunt Elizabeth."

"Nonsense," Aunt Elizabeth snorted as she eyed her cards suspiciously, "He is a fiend and you know it."

"He's just gone for a walk," she looked meaningfully at Dan, "_all by himself_," and pointed again towards the stables.

"That's because nobody with sense would go with him," Aunt Elizabeth said distractedly.

Dan's eyes had widened comically as he abruptly stood up, "Excuse me, I just thought of -"

He made is way towards the door and made no attempt to finish is sentence.

"Aren't you going to finish your hand?" Aunt Elizabeth had called. Blair ran in as Dan left and snatched up his cards, "Oh, I'll finish it," she said with sweet smile, before placing down some cards and bolting out the door herself. The older woman heard her heels thudding down the front steps at an alarming rate.

"Crazy," Aunt Elizabeth muttered, "they both are."

* * *

"What do we do now?" Blair pouted as she leaned towards Dan's chest, his arms automatically wrapped around her waist. They stood in the doorway of the open doorway to the stable. A frayed rope end the only evidence that Baby was ever there.

"I wonder," he started, "how does one go about telling people that there is a leopard at large in Connecticut without revealing how he got at large?"

Blair groaned into his chest, "They just say they saw a leopard."

Dan rubbed her back in empathy, "We might try it. I'll just call the police and tell them I saw a leopard, they'll call animal control or something and then they'll come and catch him."

"Humphrey, that sounds too easy."

"Hey," Dan said softly, he framed her face with his hands and looked assuringly into her eyes, "Not everything needs to be complicated."

* * *

The voice on the other end of the line was not helping to keep at bay the large vein that was starting to protrude obviously at the top of Dan's head.

"Yeah, _I heard you_," the increasingly annoying officer placated, "You saw a leopard. In Connecticut."

"Well, aren't you going to do something about it?" Dan was having trouble keeping his voice down.

"_You_ do something about it. You had your fun, go to bed and sleep it off."

"I'm telling you there is a _leopard_ running around out here!"

* * *

Aunt Elizabeth quietly sipped her tea as she sat across from Blair. They both tried not to focus too much on Dan's indiscernible voice floating through the house. The younger woman produced a weak smile as she stirred some sugar into her cup. Thankfully, Eleanor came in at the moment waving some mail in the air.

"Look, Elizabeth," a letter was placed in front of the older woman, "a letter addressed to you, from Aaron."

"Oh, wonderful!" Aunt Elizabeth exclaimed as she ripped open the envelope, "I've been waiting to hear from him. When is he due back again?"

"He is heading back next week, I believe."

Aunt Elizabeth adjusted her glasses and read in a monotone: "Dear Aunt Elizabeth, I hope you are enjoying Connecticut. Are you pleased with Baby? Love, Aaron"

She placed the letter down and furrowed her brow toward Blair.

"Baby?" Eleanor wondered a loud as she sat down next to her daughter. "Whatever does that mean?"

"He means me!" Blair piped in immediately.

Aunt Elizabeth rolled her eyes, "You're no baby. And he doesn't say a word about my leopard. You might know," she sighed, "Aaron's always been unreliable. All I want to know is if he is going to keep his damn promise."

"Leopard?" Eleanor exclaimed, "Aaron said he's bringing you back an actual _leopard_?"

Blair had already risen from her chair, spilling her tea onto the tablecloth. "Leopard? What Promise?"

"Yes, Aaron had promised me a leopard and I mean to get it! I have changed my will in his favor - and yours, I might add, though why I don't know - and all I asked for was a leopard. Then he sends me a letter a week before his return asking if I'm pleased with _you_?" Aunt Elizabeth let out another huff, "That's the way Aaron does things I suppose."

Eleanor laughed a little uncertainly at Aunt Elizabeth's words and took a long sip from her cup.

"Excuse me," Blair said faintly as she staggered quickly from the room. She slipped along the waxed floor and ran into the bedroom and into Dan, grasping at his shoulders.

He had just set down his phone when Blair came barging in and he steadied his hands on her hips.

"What? It's all fixed - they're sending someone over."

"Call them back and unfix it! Now! Call them back!"

"What? - Blair, do you know how long it took me to convince them -"

"Humphrey! Don't ask questions right now! Call them back and unfix this! -"

"Blair! I had to offer them five hundred bucks and the leopard just so he would come over and help us. And he _is_ coming."

Blair gasped, her hands rising to cover her mouth before - _whack_! - hitting him on the shoulder. "You gave him Baby!" she raged.

"_Ow_. Blair, stop that," Dan grabbed her flailing arms, "What is going on?"

Blair took a deep breath and quickly explained to him what had transpired minutes earlier, but when Dan had called back the man from the county Animal Care & Control, it turned out that they already deployed a large team to go hunting for a loose leopard.

"We just need to find Baby before they do," Blair stated with a decisive nod. Then, "Do you have any idea how to catch a leopard?"

"Nope."

Blair frowned, "Humphrey, you are no help. Start thinking about it." She started out the door, "And if one of those people from animal control ring our door, one of us needs to get the door and get rid of him."

"How do we do that?" Dan scratched his head, but she was already on her way downstairs.

He followed.

* * *

In the middle of dinner, the doorbell rang. Blair immediately offered to get the door and gracefully floated out the dining room and out of sight before rushing in a flurry towards the door. Opening it a crack, she slid out and closed it behind her. The man who stood outside wore an unfortunate hat that made him look more like a mountie than anything else.

"Are you with the party that called us about the leopard?"

Blair scrunched up her face to appear confused and lightly shook her head left to right, "Nope. That's definitely not us." She let out a little laugh as if it was the most absurd question she was asked.

"Is there a man who lives around here with the name of Humphrey?"

"Never heard of him," she shook her head again and clasped her hands in front of her.

The mountie rubbed his chin thoughtfully as if his two-day stubble would magically grow into a beard, "I've asked everybody on this road so far."

"Well," Blair said sweetly, "There are still five miles of _this_ road. If you're going west that is. Seven, if east."

He hesitated, and looked in the direction she was pointing and sighed. "Better lock up your chickens, girl. There's a leopard loose tonight."

Blair pursed her lips, "Yes, well, we don't have chickens," she replied as if the mere thought of touching live poultry would give her hives. She went back inside and shut the door before the mountie had anything else to say.

* * *

And for the second night in a row, when everyone had gone to bed, Blair and Dan crept down the stairs to confer in the kitchen.

"Humphrey," Blair whispered authoritatively, "we need to be methodical. We need to think things through before we act."

"You think," Dan whispered back, "I'll just stand here and recover from the thinking I was doing at dinner."

"_Humphrey_. What do we need on a leopard hunt?"

"A bigger leopard. Ow! _Blair_," Dan rubbed his arm where the brunette had pinched him.

"Think, Humphrey! If you were a leopard, where would you go?" She grabbed his wrist and pulled him out the door. He pulled his arm out of her grasp before taking her hand in his instead and walking beside her.

"Back home to Auntie Elizabeth, of course," he muttered.

* * *

Blair and Dan finally set out with a length of rope and a net which Blair insisted on taking even though it was meant for fish. She had clicked her tongue and said that it might come in handy and would be no trouble to bring along. Of course it was no trouble at all, except for Dan, who ended up being the one to carry both the net and the rope.

The fight started at around one o'clock when Blair had tripped over a log and refused to get up until Dan picked her up in his arms. Then he made the mistake of saying, "Blair, you need to watch wear you're going."

Blair had froze there, maybe in shock, when his words made it to her ears. They had been walking since eleven thirty! She could barely _see_, had torn her dress, her shoes were probably _ruined_, and there was a leopard loose in Connecticut and it was her fault. To make matters worse, the past couple of nights were absolutely dreadful on her as she kept trying - and failing - to pretend that they weren't upset with each other.

"Watch where _I'm _going? _Humphrey_, you ass," she stuttered, "Why don't you just watch where_ I'm _going, jerk - I mean watch where _you're_ -" and then to her utter embarrassment, she began crying. Terrible tears that flowed down from her eyes in fat droplets.

In half a moment, she was in Dan's arms, his fingers gently stroking her cheeks and wiping at the wet streaks on her face.

"Hey, hey," he dropped a kiss on her head, "maybe we should just go back. Give up on this for tonight, okay?"

All too suddenly, she shoved him away. "Oh ho ho, of course!"

She sniffled and looked at him admonishingly, "Of course you would say that! Yes, why don't you just go back yourself, _Cabbage Patch._ And give up! It seems like it's what you do best!"

"_Seriously_, Blair?" Dan looked at her with wide eyes, angry, incredulous. He shook his head and he ran his hands through his hair as he was wont to do around her. How is he always finding it hard to believe she was real?

"_I'm_ the one who gives up? You've called off our engagement three times in the last year, Blair. Three! When you freak out about the venue, or the guest list, our families, our friends - You called it off again two nights ago! Are you ever going to marry me?"

"Oh, right. It's easy for you to _blame_ me -"

"_Blair_, I'm not blaming -"

"- when _you're_ the one who walked out the door the other night!"

"You _banished me to Brooklyn_ -"

"Oh, like you would really consider that banishment, Humphrey. You wanted to go!_You left_! You -"

"You told me to!"

"Oh, and you just give up so easily?"

"Give _up_? Blair, I always come back to you. Stupidly. I always come back and give _into_ you."

Blair wiped at her eyes and let out a scream for frustration, "I _can't_ talk about this right now! I - You… There are _lives_ at stake right now, there is a leopard loose. So you go ahead and go back, I'm going to find Baby and that devil dog." She turned from him and stomped off.

Dan followed. "You are completely ridiculous, all the time. You know that, right? I don't believe you're -"

"Don't, Dan. Just don't."

"Blair," he called and touched her arm. She flinched and continued to stalk away.

"_Don't_ follow me, Dan," she said. "This time, I am through. I might not have meant it all those other silly times, but I mean it now. Just don't follow me anymore!"

"Fine!" Dan sighed and sat down on a log.

He could hear her crashing away from him. Then, a beat. She came crashing back. He remained silent when, in a quavering voice, she called out, "Dan?"

"Dan?" Blair called out one more time in a small voice, loud in the dark silence. She bit her lip. So, he was really gone. Fine. She continued one, refusing to cry anymore. Though she was a little more wary as she looked around her surroundings. Asserting her independence was one thing, but frolicking around in the woods alone at night is another.

* * *

Dan had thrown away the net, but kept the rope in his hand has he followed her at a reasonable distance. Ahead he could see Blair looking from side to side, not so much for Baby, but as if she were looking for something that would jump out at her from behind the bushes.

He watched as Blair warily approached a white house and then stop abruptly. She dropped to her hands and knees and started crawling towards what looked to be a growling little George. They disappeared among a large clump of hydrangeas and Dan advanced forward. It took a while, but he was able to make out a large cat-like shape sitting on the roof of the white house.

He heard Blair calling out, "Good Baby. Can you come down, Baby?"

George was growling louder. This wasn't working at all. Dan was in the middle of hoping that she wouldn't do something like climb up the trellis, but then - but then. Oh. She started singing. _Oh._

"I can't give you  
anything but lo-ove, ba-by.

That's the only thing  
I have plenty o-of, ba-by."

Dan wouldn't even dare blink. _If only you could see what I see. _The moon was up, and to Dan, shining down directly on her. She was glowing, her eyes were bright as they looked up. His breath caught as he watched her. She cannot be real. Yeah. He was so gone. Stupidly in love with Blair Waldorf and would follow her forever and everywhere.

"Dream a while, scheme a while,  
we're sure to find  
happiness and I guess -"

A window flung open and a pajama-clad man appeared, obviously at a loss as to wear to start.

"What are you doing?" He didn't sound to happy either.

"Singing," Blair responded simply.

"Listen here," the man definitely was not happy, "If your trying to play some kind of prank, there has got to be someplace else for you to do it." By this time, the man's wife had joined him, though she looked more sleepy and confused than irate.

"I'm not playing a prank," Dan heard Blair call up, "Look, there is a leopard on your roof."

"Wha- Uh." The man clearly was not expecting something like that. The man's wife looked down in pity at Blair, and touched her husband's shoulder, urging him inside.

"There is a leopard on your roof, and it's my leopard and I need to get him back." Blair spoke slowly, as if speaking to a child, "And to get him back I have to sing."

The man spluttered again, "There is nothing on my roof!"

"There is! He's right there, just look!"

The man and the woman both retreated back through the window and disappeared from sight. Blair lifted her voice to sing again when a door banged open. The man had come out in a hurry and Baby, alarmed, leaped over the edge of the roof and stalked off.

"Oh, wait! Baby!" She started in the direction that the leopard ran off to when the man came around the corner of the house and gripped her arm.

"Hey!" Blair admonished, "you scared him away! Unhand me!"

The man tried to calm her down, "Hush, its alright!" Then, more gentle, "Are _you_ alright?"

"Of course I'm not alright, you've got your dirty hands on me! Let go this instant!"

He kept his soft grip on her, "Hey! It's okay, do you know where you live?"

"I am not some invalid," she tried to take her arm back again, but the man in the pajamas was having none of it. "I need to go after that leopard! He went that way!"

Dan, at this point, had reached them and quickly pulled the man's arm away from Blair and grabbed her hand before running off with her after Baby.

They ignored the man calling after them.

* * *

"_Humphrey_! I told you not to follow me!"

"Don't take that tone with me, Waldorf," Dan started warningly as he led them further away from the white house.

"_Da-an_."

He stopped and turned towards her, he had a hold on her shoulders as he looked carefully into her brown eyes. "You can banish me and tell me to leave a thousand times over and I will still be here for you because I am in love with you. I am in love with you, Blair Waldorf, and nothing will ever change that. You can stomp your feet and do that thing with your lip that I can't help but find adorable and tell me you hate me when I know that you don't. You can ask of me the world and I'll sure as hell try to give it to you, but I will never let you down - I will be here still, for you. Because I'm in love you. Whole-heartedly. Stupidly."

He stepped closer to her, the tips of his feet in-between hers and his forehead pressed against hers.

"I'm just following your lead, Waldorf," he smirked when she smiled at the memory, "I'm good at that, remember?" He sighed. He really wanted to kiss her, "Are we engaged or aren't we?"

She giggled this time, both her hands rose to rest on his chest. He felt her left hand slip through under his shirt and he could feel her engagement ring against is heartbeat.

"Alight," she whispered as her lips finally met his.

* * *

It was dark among the trees. Blair and Dan stumbled around looking up into them for Baby and under them for little George. Now and then they would call out, hoping to at least hear a growl in reply. They finally came upon the two animals in a small clearing.

Baby was laying on his side and George was standing beside him. Blair quickly went over and picked up the small terrier and she eyed Dan, looking distinctly at the rope still resting in his hands. Dan had an unpleasant feeling about this and he tried to remember all the things he ever heard about dealing with animals as he approached Baby warily.

Once he was a step away, the leopard rolled over onto his back to have his stomach scratched. Dan heard Blair's soft laughter float over his shoulder as he put the rope around Baby's neck. From there on, the walk back to the Waldorf-Rose estate was just as simple. Baby padded along Blair's side and George followed at his heels, letting out a growl every now and then. Devil dog.

* * *

The lights in the living room were on when they returned. Cyrus was sitting on the couch, looking like he was about to fall asleep right there in his robe. Aunt Elizabeth was standing across from him, arms crossed and shaking her head as she watched Eleanor pace back and forth on the phone.

"How dare you? You call me on my daughter's cell phone and accuse her of what - How did you get her phone? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call the police right now for - She is decently in bed and absolutely not going around singing under windows - There is no insanity in our family!"

At that moment, Cyrus and Aunt Elizabeth both noticed Blair and Dan walking in with their furry companions. Blair was rifling through her pockets for her aforementioned cell phone, then Dan's pockets when she wasn't able to find it. It must have fallen out during their brief struggle at the white house.

Eleanor continued, not noticing their entrance: "Look - whoever you are, I am going to be reporting this to the police - How did you get her phone - My _daughter_, sir, is a sober, self-respecting citizen!" Then she looked up and saw Blair. Eleanor then stared at Baby, mouth falling open. "Wait a minute," she said, eyes not leaving the leopard, "I might be wrong."

Blair handed a speechless Aunt Elizabeth the end of the rope and took the phone from her mother's ear, telling the man that she'd be returning in a few minutes to collect her lost phone.

She kissed her stunned mother's cheek goodnight before turning to hug a just-as-stunned Cyrus, and then coming back to Dan who was watching the scene unfold with small smile. Blair just shook her had at him lightly, as if she couldn't believe what had transpired in a span of twelve hours. He took her hand and kissed her gently.

After they'd gone to retrieve the phone, Aunt Elizabeth stood staring at Baby, who was rolling over on the floor as if asking to have his stomach scratched.

"Who would have thought," she muttered to Eleanor, "Aaron can't send me a leopard from Brazil, but those two can scare one up in the Connecticut woods." The two women looked on as Cyrus bent down to appease the friendly leopard.

"I think I've misjudged your Blair. I think - perhaps I'll cut Aaron off and give Blair all the money instead."

.

.


End file.
